For Katarsis Larva (2)

 Untuknya yang tak kunjung pergi

By : Pishella Suryoputri

cc : Writing Club Psikologi - Event

Karena bersamamu adalah mustahil..

Karena akan membutuhkan waktu selamanya untuk membuatmu memahami perasaanku tak nihil..

Percakapan antara dua hati ini selalu berulang namun tak pernah menemukan ujungnya

Demikian pula dengan segala jatuh-bangun yang ada.

Ketidaktegasan yang menghancurkan tiga hati sekaligus pada akhirnya

Ketidakfahaman, ketidakpastian, mungkin merupakan hal yang mutlak dalam kehidupan yang nanar..

Namun,ke-tidak-punya-otak-an-untuk-bertahan-di-atas-rasa-rendahdiri-dan-dikatakan-penghancur-atas-apa-yang-sudah-semestinya pun rasanya tak benar..

Rasa sabar memang tak terbatas, namun manusia punya yang namanya rasa lelah.

Hasrat yang tak tentu arah.

Serta dimata siapapun jelas salah.

Dan mungkin itu yang membuatnya menyerah.

Walaupun harus kalah.

Selalu diputarbalikkan kisah  hingga pasrah.

Harusnya tau, bahwa semakin banyak yang diterima, semakin banyak pula yang nanti harus dilepaskan.

Dengan atau tanpa kerelaan.

Walau sesungguhnya bersedia mengorbankan apapun untuk menunjukan kesungguhan.

Namun untuk menjadi tamu kehidupanpun rasanya terlalu menyakitkan.

Mematahkan semua angan-angan.

Memupuskan semua harapan.

Mengikhlaskan dengan ratapan.

Bertahan dengan sisa-sisa kekuatan.

Dengan ekspektasi memperbaiki keadaan.

Tanpa merasa menjadi pihak yang paling tersakiti,

Menyadari cinta tidak seharusnya begini.

Mungkin semua ini tak lebih dari obsesi.

Kesalahan interpretasi yang mengakibatkan kerusakan hati hingga mati.

Dan jalan yang tersisa hanyalah pergi..

Mungkin selama ini aku takut, karena aku kalut.

Walau bukan sebagai peran terindah di hatimu,

Cerita yang panjang rasanya sejak pertama bertemu,

Sampai pada tatapan yang menyadarkan adanya rasa itu

Dan berdua dibawah naungan hujan yang membuat pilu

Bukan niat menjadi kekasih utama,

Hanya selamanya ingin kau merasa lebih baik dan bahagia

Sayang bukan aku orangnya

Walau diri ini mengetahui takdirnya

Dua jiwa yang dulu bersatu kini tiada guna

Tlah ku baca tugasnya di dunia

Membuatku benci menyusahkannya

Walau mustahil bagi hati melupakannya

Mencintaimu sungguh sulit

Tapi lebih tak mudah tuk menghentikannya walau pahit

(Most of them are from my previous post http://pishellasuryoputri.blogspot.com/2013/04/till-its-depth.html)

For Katarsis Larva (1)

Reinkarnasi

By : Pishella Suryoputri

cc: Writing Club Psikologi - Event

Wahai, Semesta..

Penguasa bagi segala yang nyata dan fana..

Andai boleh aku bertanya,

Namun janganlah kau murka..

Jika dapat kau katakan

Apa aku berbuat kesalahan

Siapa aku di masa lalu

Hingga kini ku jadi benalu

Untuk hidupku sendiri

Parasit bagi sosok yang rumit

Berbelit hingga semua terasa pahit

Aku benci menjadi empati

Aku lelah menjadi pasrah

Berulang kali aku diberi kesempatan hidup

Dengan kekuatan yang tak kunjung redup

Hingga aku terpaksa menjadi tertutup

Bukan aku tak bersyukur

Tapi jiwa-jiwa ini semakin lebur

Dalam dunia yang penuh takabur

Alam yang sulit mengerti arti kata jujur

Seringkali aku lemah dan termangu

Menanggung perih yang bahkan bukan punyaku

Ingin rasanya berontak..

Namun bukan tugasku tuk menggertak

Memendam apa yang kudengar

Suara hati dan hingar bingar

Berbagai dimensi ku arungi

Menjadi saksi lapisan kehidupan yang terjebak hingga masa kini

Mereka tak mengerti,

Mereka tak memahami..

Tapi itulah mereka yang tak mau membuka mata..

Biarlah paham dengan cara pemaknaannya

Terkadang..

Ketika otak sedang kehilangan sinkronisasinya dengan hati, ya jadi begini..

Hasrat melompat, terbebas dari dunia yang selalu memberi batas,

Lari dari semua sinergi yang terus melingkari kemanapun aku pergi

Mungkin..

Aku hanya merindukan masa ku sebelumnya, ketika aku menjadi siapa..

Saat itu aku memilih melintasi malam, menanti rembulan atau lampu dan cahaya..

Saat manusia sudah tak bisa lagi memaklumi isi hati nurani

Kembali aku berteman dengan sunyi

Menyadari tak seorangpun mampu lari dari kenyataan

Atau memilih tempat kita akan dilahirkan

Yang dapat kulakukan hanyalah bertahan

Sambil terus menjalankan kewajiban

Tuhan punya rencana, dan aku percaya

Walau takdir terus mempermainkan dan tertawa

Menampar diri dengan kepahitan realita

Untuk menyadarkan aku ini siapa..

Dan kepada jiwa-jiwa yang terluka..

Bersabarlah, hingga kehidupan berikutnya..

Sambil terus berjuang bersama..

 

Unexpressed thoughts kill..

"Unexpressed emotions will never die.

They are buried alive and will come forth later in uglier ways."

-Sigmund Freud

Seandainya segala pikiran-pikiran gila ini dapat tertuang dengan mudah.
Khayalan, ide-ide, kepercayaan.

Karena itulah, saya kagum dengan orang-orang di luar sana, seniman, penulis, dan siapapun yang dapat dengan cerdas mengemukakan pendapatnya, mengkatarsiskan perasaannya melalui suatu karya.

Rasanya, begitu banyak yang ingin diutarakan, namun terlalu rumit untuk ditata.

Hasrat untuk menuliskan mengenai hal-hal yang dianggap menarik dan saat membicarakannya membuat saya merasa hidup,

Filosofi dualisme dan trialisme; Reinkarnasi; Past Life Regression; Mitologi Yunani; Chakra; Pandangan pribadi tentang Agama dan kepercayaan; Old Soul; Hukum-hukum Alam; teori-teori Psikologi; tokoh-tokoh inspiratif kesukaan seperti Carl Jung, Mother Theresa, Socrates, Dalai Lama; Pengalaman; Emosi; Mimpi; Cita; Cinta; atau bahkan sekedar membahas puisi-puisi, film-film, buku-buku..

Pada akhirnya, saya tidak dapat menemukan jawaban apapun untuk merekonstruksi ulang keinginan berasertif tersebut, selain mulai mengurutkannya pelan-pelan.
Sebelum semua menyerang balik.

I'm not a genius, I guess I just need a little time,

as I am the one who's having an infinite mind..

-Pishella Suryoputri- 

Barbitch.

Sekumpulan cerita di dalam Barbitch karya Sagita Suryoputri, menampilkan kisah para perempuan dari sisi abu-abu kehidupan. Para tokohnya bercerita tentang pengkhianatan sahabat, cinta segitiga, manipulasi kekuasaan, perempuan dengan kecantikan bagai boneka, perpecahan keluarga..dan semua hal yang kadang disembunyikan masyarakat demi terjaganya stabilitas sosial dan moral. Mereka ada di sekitar kita, namun sering kita menutup mata bagi mereka. Mereka berpesta dalam hentakan musik yang keras hingga tenggelam di bawah kerlip lampu warna-warni berkilauan. Di balik perjuangan demi kehidupan yang lebih baik, mereka tampil rupawan dan elok dipandang mata seakan dunia berjalan tanpa masalah.

Hingga yang tersisa tinggallah pilihan: membenci atau mencintai mereka.

*

Today, I (finally) got the chance to read my sister's book. Actually it's been released two weeks ago, but since I should read this without my mom knows, twas kinda not easy for me. And this evening..where I sat on the corner of my room, did nothing but read for about two hours, finished this book. I'm speechless. Now I don't even know how am I supposed to feel..

Those heartbreaking stories arranged with splendid structure of words..every fact and fiction she poured out into writing, every implicit and projection feeling. How it brought so many memories, how it got me knows much, how it made me to open my eyes bigger about what's going around while all this time all I can do is pretending to know nothing-trying to be careless-don't wanna be seen that i'm hurt-refusing every bad thing just because I won't accept reality, yet in the mean time, she suffers much, she does endless struggle.

Sometimes, people always think that they are the most unfortunate person in this world, how they hate their life and see it as hell. But they should remember, sometimes it's better to look beneath the line of other people downcast journey to realize that we are lucky enough, to reminds us what gratitude is.

And that's what my sister did. Not only to me, but i'm sure that she inspires many people out there with her true act..the way she always be true to herself.

She shows people that no matter how miserable life is, it has no right to stop us from make a good work.

I can never directly say to her how adorable she is in my eyes even with all of her weaknesses and bad side. But nobody is perfect, right. She is the first person I chose to be my role model. The one who taught me how to stay strong in life..we can't run from our fate, we can't choose where we born, but we always have choices to face it and make it better. God even universe has a plan for everyone..I believe they only chose certain and great people to have an extraordinary life, because they know that we are strong enough to handle it. Sometimes fate plays with us to slap our consciousness therefore we realize who we are, what is our gift. Yet it takes time and probably that's why some people give up. But not my sister.

After all..

May thank you saying would never can pay everything you did for me and the whole family..just watch me grow up, sist. And I promise I'll be a good person whom our parents could rely on later, so you don't have to bear everything alone, no more. I can't believe I tear up right this time.. I remember the words you said to me on your launching night, "jangan dibaca, nanti lo stress." you have no idea how it enlightened me instead.

 

Stay healthy, Stay brave, Stay true to yourself.

You own your life..cherish it. :)

“Sister. She is your mirror, shining back at you with a world of possibilities. She is your witness, who sees you at your worst and best, and loves you anyway. She is your teacher, your defense attorney, your personal press agent, even your shrink. Some days, she's the reason you wish you were an only child.”
―Barbara Alpert

".....We born alone. We die alone."

"Lantas bagaimana jadinya dunia ini, jika seluruh umat manusia berpikiran sama seperti Freud? Aku hanya tidak ingin terlalu skeptis."

"Jadi menurutmu aku ini skeptis? I'm just stand up for my rights and perfectly landed on my feet.

Ini namanya realistis"

-BFF, Barbitch pg 13-14.

My heart has a mind of its own - Christian Bautista

 Listen to the song

People try and tell me that its crazy
You and I were never meant to be
I don't believe they know,
and even if it's so
I'm fallen anyway, no matter what they say.

A part of me is taking me by the hand
The world can't see
Still they can't understand
Why can't they understand..

My heart has a mind of its own
Right or wrong its gonna do
Only what it feels is true
I'll follow it wherever it goes
Anywhere it leads me to..
My heart has a mind, mind of its own.

Maybe we won't always be together
Maybe this'll last a thousand year
Ain't nobody knows, and even if they did
It wouldn't matter now
I'd love you anyhow..

My heart knows what I'm needing
My heart knows what I'm feeling
It knows me better than I know myself
My heart knows what I'm missing
All I have to do is listen
And listen well..

Universe Law. Another kind of life perspective.

As someone who is honestly putting her belief not only into one religion but the law of universe which she had chosen as her life guide, here I want to share some of its eternal pattern so I could probably give and share some new perspective for the readers..as I hope. Not to ask you to put or hold the same value on it like me..it's more like to show, that even some people have the view to think there is more holistic perception of self, life and everything as part of a bigger picture. And those untouchable tiny part of the world that exist..

I ever told one before, about the Law of Attraction, and here's more..

(Source: http://www.naderashchi.com/sevenlaws.html)

		The Law of Gender. Every “seed” has a gestation period.
		The Law of Cause and Effect. What goes around comes around.
		The Law of Relativity. Nothing is good or bad, but thinking makes it so.
		The Law of Perpetual Transmutation. Energy moves into physical form.
		The Law of Polarity. Everything has an opposite.
		The Law of Vibration. Everything vibrates. Nothing rests.
		The Law of Rhythm. This too shall pass.
1. The Law of Gender The law of gender translates that every seed has a gestation or incubation period. Ideas are spiritual seeds and will move into form or physical results. If you “choose” to believe this, you can watch your life change. Your goals will manifest in the perfect time. Deep in your heart, you must know that they will.
2. The Law of Cause and Effect Whatever you send into the universe comes back. Every action, has an equal and opposite reaction. Say good things to everyone; treat everyone with total respect, and it will all come back to you. Never worry about what you are going to get. Just concentrate on what you can give and give it unconditionally. Treat everyone with total respect. What goes around comes around. If you squeeze an orange, you will get orange juice. Like causes always produce like effects. See “The Juicer” section in the “Core Principles” section.
3. The Law of Relativity Nothing is good or bad until you relate it to something. Practice relating your situation to something worse, and yours will always look good. If you practice relating your situation to something better, yours will always look worse. Nothing is good or bad until you relate it to something. Imagine three bank accounts: the first with $150 in it, the second with $150,000, and the third with $150,000,000. None of them are large, and none are small unless you compare them to a larger or smaller account.
4. The Law of Perpetual Transmutation In his book, The Science of Getting Rich, author Wallace D. Wattles talks about the law of perpetual transmutation. “Man instinctively knows this, and therefore he is forever seeking more. This law of perpetual increase is set forth by God in the parable of the talents: Only those who gain more retain any; from him who has not shall be taken away even that which he has.” Simply put, energy from the formless realm is constantly flowing into the material world and taking form. This energy is limitless and inexhaustible. As old forms are exhausted, they give way for new forms to emerge from the invisible hidden energy of the universe. The formless energy is amenable to being shaped by our minds and is the ultimate source of all wealth. Hence, in a very real sense, every person in this world is wealthy by birth because each of us is connected to that source of infinite supply. The only problem is that the great majority does not know how to tap into it and bring it into manifestation. Hence, they remain impoverished. It is not circumstance or upbringing that does it. It is sheer ignorance of the reality of our own wealth and how easily we could tap into it if we just tried. In any area of endeavor, you will often find two people with almost identical talent and opportunity: one is a roaring success; the other is going nowhere. You may see two almost identical businesses: one is going from strong to stronger; the other is almost bankrupt. Why? The answer lies in how successfully we can tap into the law of perpetual transmutation and manifest from the formless according to our desires. Rather than constantly immersing yourself in the world of effects, i.e., the material world, more of your focus should go into the world of causes. The first step to doing this is simply awareness. Meditating regularly on the law of perpetual transmutation can help you make it a living belief for you. Then place yourself between the flow. See the vast infinite energy flowing from the formless through you and manifesting into form beneath you.
5. The Law of Polarity Everything has an opposite: hot, cold; up, down; good, bad. Constantly look for the good in people and situations. When you find it, tell the person. People love compliments, and the positive idea in your mind makes you feel good. Remember, good idea, good vibrations. Always recognize the opposite and then pick what you want to concentrate on, remembering law number 4.
6. The Law of Vibration Everything vibrates. Nothing rests. Conscious awareness of vibration is called “feeling.” How do you feel? Your thoughts control your paradigms and your vibrations. When you are not feeling good, become aware of what you are thinking and then think of something pleasant. Remember again law number 4. The tide goes out. Night follows day. Good times, bad times. When you are on a downswing, do not feel bad. Know the swing will change and things will get better. There are good times coming. Think of them.
7. The Law of Rhythm Some of the things the law of rhythm affects are the tide that goes out and comes back. Night follows day. There is good in everything, and there is bad. Don’t feel the bad in the downswing without realizing that good times are coming. Remember again law number 4. Baha'u'llah says, “Sorrow not if, in these days and on this earthly plane, things contrary to your wishes have been ordained and manifested by God, for days of blissful joy, of heavenly delight, are assuredly in store for you.”

These are not laws that can be broken without steep consequences. If you know the laws, you obey the laws. If you use the laws, you will succeed. Whether something goes right or something goes wrong, you can refer to these laws. The people who have not gotten what their heart desires have gone against one or more of these laws. Don’t let this happen to you. read and learn all about the laws that affect you on this life..

 “We all - whether naturalists, atheists, Moslem, Buddhists, or Christians -

see the world through the grid of an interpretive framework - and ultimately this interpretive framework is religious in nature, even if not allied with a particular institutional religion.”
-James Smith

Shave for Hope 2013

Shave for Hope, merupakan suatu acara sosial tahunan oleh Yayasan Pita Kuning untuk membantu anak-anak penderita kanker di RS. Dharmais. Dengan konsep yang luar biasa demi menolong sesama oleh para pengusung acara, it makes me didn't even think twice to participate on this event :D personally, I think it's not really about the money we donated, but how it can apparently touched so many people's heart to help those kids..their willing to cut their hair to show to 'em that beautiful is not considered by hair but with the heart..that those kids don't need to walk alone and here we are, ready to support 'em. I mean, many of us who did this could just give our money as much as the sponsor paid us to help, but we realized that there's something more important for those children..moral support. And this event proved that even the little act from one people can really change someone's life. :)

I'm so glad and grateful to have a chance to did this..

Before-After Pict. :D

"If you can't feed a hundred people, then feed just one."

- Mother Teresa

for more info:

shaveforhope.com

Shave for Hope Event on Youtube