New Year

Since today is the last day of this year, when I opened my laptop then opened this blog, I thought I was about to write about my Review of 2012 and Resolution for 2013. turns out, now i'm just gonna make a post tells about New Year first.
So. Tahun yang baru. Memang dirasakan setiap tahunnya, the euphoria of it. Semua orang sibuk bikin planning, dengan siapa dan akan bagaimana merayakan keceriaan acara tahunan ini. Terompet, petasan, musik, dan semua hal yang dapat menambah kemeriahan dalam menyambut tahun baru.
Di malam ini, setiap orang memilih caranya masing-masing untuk melewati penyambutan tahun yang baru ini. Ntah dengan berkumpul bersama keluarga, sahabat-sahabat, pacar, nonton kembang api, atau menikmati sendiri dikamar dengan acara-acara televisi yang lebih menarik dari biasanya, atau bahkan mungkin memanfaatkan waktu ini dengan 'berbicara' pada Tuhan dan berdoa sepanjang malam untuk tahun berikutnya yang lebih baik.
Moment yang begitu tepatnya untuk dinikmati bersama orang-orang terkasih, moment yang begitu tepatnya untuk membuat resolusi dan target-target yang akan dicapai selanjutnya, moment yang begitu tepat pula untuk berintrospeksi diri atas apa yang telah dicapai.
Ketika hampir semua orang di  dunia meniti harapan untuk hari esok yang lebih baik, membangun harapan dan membisikkan doa dalam dirinya..
Berbagi kasih, menguatkan diri, di malam yang penuh cahaya. Berterimakasih atas waktu di tahun sebelumnya yang telah diberikan Tuhan dengan segala pembelajarannya.

Year's end is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can instill us. 
Well..

HAPPY NEW YEAR, EVERYONE :D

Have a great year aheaaad ♥

"Tomorrow, is the first blank page of a 365 page book. Write a good one." - Brad Paisley

Belajar? (Dari Hujan)

Things has been quite complicating lately, yet those are still can be referred as interesting..

Jika mengingat apa-apa saja yang terjadi belakangan ini, bikin inget sama apa yang selalu dikatakan salah satu asdos saya, bahwasannya "hidup itu dinamis, bahkan 5 menit kedepan masih akan menjadi misteri".
Ketika pertama mendengar hal itu, yang ada di benak saya cuma "hah? maksudnya?" dan ternyata, as time goes by, saya mendapat jawaban itu sendiri.
Yap, di bulan terakhir di tahun 2012 ini, setiap harinya selalu saja ada hal yang tak dinyana-nyana akan terjadi but it was. Bukan selalu hal besar, but if I think about it over and over again.. I can never get enough of being amazed by God's script for people's life. Pengaturan cerita dan keteraturan kejadian yang sedemikian rupa sehingga membentuk 'hidup' seseorang termasuk saya. Kesempurnaan pola yang diukir. Tuhan begitu baiknya, yang paling mengetahui kapan hal baik harus terjadi pada kita, bahkan yang buruk pun. We even shouldn't think if something unpleasant happen to us then we say it as a bad thing.. this month, I've learned that "Unpleasant thing that happen in the present, usually become a wonderful memories to remember in the future".

turns out...................

Dikecewakan--menegarkan diri ;
Dibodohi karna buta akan suatu hal--cari tau kebenarannya ;
Menghargai hal kecil disekitar-besyukur ;
Menyalahkan keadaan--berkacalah ;
Perhatian kecil--kesenangan yang dipetik kedepannya ;
Hal tidak menyenangkan terjadi--pasti diimbangkan Tuhan dengan kenyamanan yg menanti ; 
Feel weak--gali sumber kekuatan ;
Bermanja--ber tahu diri ;
Rasa sedih--nikmati ;
Energi positif--sebarkan selagi ada ;
Hal baru menanti di depan mata--berani beresiko karna nantinya pasti menjadi sesuatu yang lebih berarti seperti dan mungkin lebih dari sebelumnya ;
Ketakutan akan suatu hal di masa lalu--hadapi dan tuntaskan ;
Berperilaku bodoh--akui dan hentikan ;
Berpencapaian--feel free to feel good about yourself for awhile ;
Sayangi orang orang yang telah dihadirkan Tuhan di sekeliling--you will also feel loved ;
Memutuskan untuk mencintai--berani menghadapi konsekuensinya ;
Be nice--tidak akan ada habisnya untuk dikelilingi orang orang baik ;
Be busy--you will appreciate what's called free time to take some rest ;
Be tired--for you will feel what you've been fighting for is truly worth it when you see the result is morethan great ;
Be sick--for you know there are still so many people who care about you ;
Totalitas dalam segala hal--mengetahui kemampuan, hasil sempurna ;
Ketegangan menghadapi orang baru--teman baru pengalaman baru pelajaran baru ;
Apa yang dirasa--Ungkapkan ;
Disakiti--Berealistis ;
Berpengalaman lebih--syukuri dan berbagi
Merasa sepi--entaskan, be brave, see it as independent instead of lonely
Reflections--new leassons ;

Jangan pernah takut untuk memperlihatkan rasa cinta, terlebih terhadap orang-orang yang kita ketahui pasti juga menyayangi. Jangan pernah lelah memetik pelajaran positif dari hal sekecil apapun itu. Jangan takut menghadapi kesempatan yang ada. Teruslah yakin bahwa Tuhan akan selalu memberikan apa yang membangun diri kita. Dan dalam menghadapi rasa sedih akan apa yang disebut 'kehilangan' dalam hal apapun, percaya bahwa Tuhan terlalu baik karna itu Ia menjauhkan diri kita dari hal-hal yang tidak baik untuk kita.

Berbicara mengenai Refleksi, here's one from me..

pengalaman beberapa waktu yang lalu yang saya interpretasikan ke dalam suatu pandangan lain,

Jangan takut untuk berada di bawah air hujan

Akan selalu ada tempat untuk berteduh

Merupakan pilihan ketika harus merasa aman tetapi tidak maju, atau maju dengan mengambil resiko

Minimalisir setiap keluhan dan nikmati, kejadian yang mungkin hanya terjadi sekali seumur hidup

Akan ada yang melindungi atau bantuan yang tak pernah kita sangka sebelumnya

Ntah itu jas hujan, atau seseorang yang mau berkorban

Hargai setiap moment karna kita sama sekali tidak mengetahui kapan semesta akan menariknya kembali

 Banyak hal-hal yang selalu ingin kita pertahankan,

Mungkin orang yang melindungi kita dari hujan, pangeran yang tiba-tiba datang dan membanjiri mu dengan berlian, malaikat yang menyelamatkan kita dari macan, sosok yang menempatkan kita pada zona aman, atau apapun itu,

tidak akan pernah kemungkinan tertutup bahwa hal-hal tersebut akan hilang secara tiba-tiba..

Karena itu, what i'm trying to say is, balik ke awal, kita nggak akan pernah tau apa yang bakal terjadi 5 menit kedepan, tapi, jangan takut untuk mengambil kesempatan yang ada di depan mata dan menyikapi hal tersebut dengan bijaksana serta terus menghargai apa yang telah diperlihatkan dan diberikan dunia pada kita yang begitu kecil..
Hidup itu pilihan, memang terdengar berat dan penuh konsekuensi, namun, kita termasuk beruntung apabila kita masih dapat memilih, karna beberapa orang bahkan tidak mempunyai pilihan sama sekali..

 Cherrio, people! :)

-Pishella Suryoputri-

Today I've just read the page about Marilyn Monroe's life and sure that she was absolutely amazing. She's a real bright who had a very tough soul to faced her life..
Here's some of my favorite sayings from her.. which so inspiring.

“I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.”

“A wise girl kisses but doesn't love, listens but doesn't believe, and leaves before she is left.”

“This life is what you make it. Not matter what, you're going to mess up sometimes, it's a universal truth. But the good part is you get to decide how you're going to mess it up. Girls will be your friends - they'll act like it anyway. But just remember, some come, some go. The ones that stay with you through everything - they're your true best friends. Don't let go of them. Also remember, sisters make the best friends in the world. As for lovers, well, they'll come and go too. And babe, I hate to say it, most of them - actually pretty much all of them are going to break your heart, but you can't give up because if you give up, you'll never find your soul mate. You'll never find that half who makes you whole and that goes for everything. Just because you fail once, doesn't mean you're gonna fail at everything. Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don't, then who will, sweetie? So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life's a beautiful thing and there's so much to smile about.”  

Rest in Peace, Mam..

"Cause Love is giving someone the power
to destroy you.....

but trusting them not to."

One Step Braver..

Backsound: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sbmta_UiEvw

Without knowing where I should start.

So..... that's all. "Indescribable twelve days story."
For the first time, I was totally never thought it would be like this.
Trapped me in a situation i've never been there before.. That deep yet complicated.
One moment, thought it would be such a joyful journey, exciting one..
It's true that it really ever gave me pleasant times i've never wished.
When suddenly, my heart told me to hold for a sec. I did stop and was trying to figure everything out..
When suddenly, the world just like tell me the truth I should know..

Some stories has been made only by four to five times of meeting.
Once, felt everything was clearly fine. I even felt like that was one of the best moment ever when we stood under the trees and rain.. lighty chitchat, some jokes and the way you treated me that whole evening..
Told everything. And now, realizing that was my first mistake which made my own self trapped by the game you're trying to play with my feeling. I opened the door widely when you actually don't even wanna open your curtain..
First, second and third of all.. The only thing I can feel was only deceitful happiness.
Still drunk by all of your poisons.. All of the meaningless words, those heartcatching pictures, even the songs you played right next to me that time.

All kinds of thing you knew to make a woman feel special and also you knew you can steal everything you've given to me anytime you want just by the excuse sounds "you are the one who feel that way; you are the one who puts your expectation; you are the one who let me comes to your house and mess everything up".....
Very smart of you, man.

Convinced myself that I could handle it.. even everything became more confusing each day..
Until that last time..
I was totally talked about everything and asked what I can ask, because I knew it would be hard to make you answer all of my questions clearly.. But still, I trusted you stupidly. Where actually all you did was just teasing me and playing with my fragile heart wickedly. By any techniques you knew.
Made my feelings up and down many times, and you did that on purpose. The worst purpose by a jerk.
In the end, you offered me two choices. And again, based on what I felt for you, I chose the first one. The one you said you've also wanted. For what's called "us" to be exist.. And you even said you did love..... eventho I knew i'm not the only one. You knew what's my point of weakness. And you struck it.

Till night.. Still felt like nothing's wrong. Was enjoying every moment. Every step we've through together.
Those surprising grasps, hugs, kisses, jokes, laughter.. The moment when I thought we're the happiest persons that time until we can't even say anything but smile.....


What we've been build for those six hours.. no, these twelve days..
it's been broken just by less than a minute......
how hurt was that.....
Sick with all of your conspiracy, tired with all the things you hide, hurt by any games you were playing. And those fluctuations you gave to myself.....

And I decided to just picked the second one in the end..
you said, if we do stop, we will see who's the one who will feel like losing, which I actually knew.. you won't.
so, we just ended everything.
We ended something that even never been started..


Yesterday, the hardest time you ever gave to me this whole time.
The way you showed me everything you did and held.. Those cynical sights.. Those silences like there's really never anything has happened between us.
Tried to tell myself that everything would be fine in the end.. Although I had to pretend like i'm not even sad at all when I honestly felt so awful until it felt so hard just to swallow my spittle when I saw you two..
I did masking a lot.


After one full day under distress,
again and again.. what's so called Universe suddenly made everything seemed to the brightest for myself.
I always believe there's no coincidence,
when suddenly that late night, by some little accident, someone just came to me and we had some hours to walk for a little journey together. And that's the time where I got the answer for this whole complicated things. All of the answer I need to hear to convince me with anything. The one who told me the truth i've never knew..

Unexpected thing happened, which really helps me thru this hard time. Universe just showed me its new script. And it's way too surprising and amazing. Just got new lesson that we should never-ever-doubt God's help in any case. It will come greatly when you least expect it through anything you've even never had imagine before.

I suddenly healed like.. totally. I realized everything.
Now I believe that I took a right decision..
Now I know the truths..
Now I understand why everything does happen this way..
most importantly,
Now I get myself back and  I got a new-very-precious-lesson from this valuable experience.
It even taught me that next time I really have to be stronger and learn how to make a good defense for my own heart. That one says I shouldn't judge myself too much anymore..
Just be a tough woman, then! :)

So.. maybe that's all I can tell. It's just.. if 'you' maybe read this post..

I would like to tell you.. from the deepest of my heart, I wanna say thank you so much.

For everything I got by knowing you in my life even just for a very little tiny time.

You've no idea how many lessons you gave to me indirectly..

Even though I've never showed you my tears and just always told you that my heart has been shaken too much.. I believe you knew that's what makes me one step braver just like I told ya.

thanks for all those pleasant times.. thanks for this new exciting experience cause whether it was good nor bad, you knew I always want this and ready for anything. I didn't lie to ya, tho. :)

thanks for made me learn one new thing..
not to present in two people who already has a long history before my existence. :)

If I may to say this kind of thing.. My one last request, for you not to think someone's feeling as a toy anymore.. cause you know, "as you sow, so shall you reap"..

Based on what I still feel for you right now plus there's no reason for me to have such a hate or mad feeling to you.. So i'm just going to see this case with a positive reappraisal ;)

I apologize that everything doesn't go well just like what you want. I'm not strong or good enough to stand by you.. and i'm sorry for always seems that I take everything too seriously.
You knew it from the start :)

Well.. It's gonna be my last post for you and about us.

I know it's impossible to forget you, cause you do know that you will always be in my unconscious mind even though I try to remove ya.. so I think i'm just gonna do repress about this whole thing.

wish me luck and..... have a good life ahead :)

When it suddenly becomes..

For a moment, I thought..

"If you simply ignored the feeling right now, you would never know what might happen. And when people ask me why I run, I tell them, there's no really a reason. It's just the adrenalin when you start, and the bloomy feeling when you cross that finish line in someone's heart. Cause however, even someone has flown and fallen, swum deep and drowned, but there should be more to love than surviving. Thinking you are that one."

when it suddenly becomes..

"I don't know whether I should stay and keep going or just leave.. Is it all true? Or all of these are just in my head. If I do stay, would you come? And can I stand still? If I do leave, then what's the point of this? Did I took a wrong step? I do try to hold.. Cause I know I can't just avoid. Like it or not.. I'm trying to figure it out. Knowing something wrong with it. Still playing with fire, say that i'm ready to be burned or do the opposite, watering it. In fact, I haven't get burned yet but I've dampened it with some tears. It's so hard to always having this kind of complicated and fussy mind. To make a conclusion without knowing the truth which actually had never been told before.
Then what should I do..?"


Just came to my mind the second i'm typing it..
"You just need to understand that everything does need process and you shouldn't take anything too seriously" - Pishella's doing monologue over and over again.

Well, guess there's should be a relationship status for "I don't even know what's going on"

-tumblr 

"My feelings starts off as a picked flower, and everyone knows a picked flower sooner or later dies. I want to be with that person that is willing to take the seeds from that picked flower and create a garden of flowers, someone who will tend to my garden of feelings and won't let them die."

"I'm aware.. I'm not everyone's cup of tea.

I'd rather be someone's shot of tequila.." 

Unconditional..

"Begitu cinta membara, maka sungai-sungai tak dapat memadamkan serta menghanyutkannya"

Dengan demikian, cinta pada hakikatnya merupakan sesuatu yang sacred, sakral.

Bersumber dari kedalaman Kasih sang Khalik sendiri.

Bahwa dalam perjalanannya cinta menjadi tidak lagi sakral dan tercemari oleh banyak pengaruh profan yang bersumber dari kedagingan manusia,
sehingga pijar cinta itu memudar atau bahkan musnah, maka itu perkara lain.

Namun penghargaan terhadap cinta merupakan sesuatu yang mutlak.

Sumber:

http://prasetyajosy.blogspot.com/2011_11_01_archive.html

Until it become Crystal Clear

That moment when you're just about to open the door and see what's next, but suddenly, it opened for you automatically and plied you with so many surprises which you've never thought about before..
Even though everything still seems so grey, but somehow it has a thing that got exactly right to myself already.
I may know nothing even the purpose, but this thing really does make me feel challenging yet loving.
Brighten up my days.. Lighten up my nights. It has got one of those points.
Whether it's the expert one nor it's just I'm the weak one.. Hate to realize that it all happens too fast, it what makes a defense of myself not to fall that easy. Meanwhile, I should admit that this kind of thing makes myself up with its tenderness. Every poison it has that makes me drunk..
All the good sides, and some bad sides I haven't know yet..
Say to myself, what if it's gone.. Do the monologue, I answer, so again, this is your new lesson.
Interesting one..
It can be as good as dreamydream, also it can be as bad as hurt.
Thinking to just enjoy the moment and wondering..
What would it be..
Where it is heading to..
Until it become crystal clear.


Just do what can I do, though. :D

Stand Right Above Myself

It's actually quite surprising how it all ended that fast.
It's all started when..

I suddenly think the whole thing which strike me does confuses me.
I suddenly have a deep conviction that this's the right time.

Deceitful happiness, temporary. I'd rather to stand on my own and reach those things with my hands. For I know I can never count on anyone.

When now I realize that actually I was just missing the old me.
Care for myself first then another person.
Want nothing but independence.

Hate to knowing that there's a limitation.
Strong willing to feel all the experiences out there.
Thirst of lessons in life.

I'm taking my time deciding how I want my life to be and who I want to spend it with.

Meanwhile..
The other side of my heart is telling me that I actually don't need to be that strong for thinking I could do anything without depending on someone.
So heart says.

Simply..
Maybe this is just all I need right now.

And I do, and will always be..
Believe that God and Universe will always help me through any hard time with its conspiracy which can be more than incredible than I've ever thought.

I did lost one thing, but what I got as its returns is priceless. :)

Killing Some Time (repost)

1. Can you legally drink?

Think so, 17 is legal right?

2. Will you be married in the next 2 years?

hmmm nope :) I plan about 7years from now

3. Is it easy for others to make you feel awkward?

yup, hiksss

4. What are your least favorite school subjects?

Civic..

5. Who was the last person you called?

my sister

6. Do you prefer to call or text?

depend..

7. Do you have a pet?

2 cats :D Cancan and Bubu

8. What did you do today?

Just take care of my mom.. she's not really well :(

9. Do you like carrots?

not really..

10. When is the last time you saw your mom?

about 2 hours ago

11. Do you believe in karma?

I prefer to say "what you give is what you get.. it's a nature law"

12. Are you taller than 5'5"?

How many metre is that? I'm 1.62 m :(

13. How many city/towns have you lived in?

5 cities so far..

14. Do you prefer shoes, socks, or bare feet?

shoesss

15. Are you a social person?

I'm a social loner.

16. What was the last thing you drank?

mineral watter

17. What are your favorite colors?

peach and broken white..

21. Do you like coffee?

kinda..

22. Would you rather have money or love?

Ideally love, realistically, money.

23. Have you ever sat on a roof?

Yup

24. What are you listening to?

George Benson - The Greatest love of all

25. Do you sleep on a certain side of the bed?

I don't really pay attention but guess so.

26. Do you know how to play poker?

nah..

27. What are you thinking about right now?

your next question.. ha

28. Any plans for the weekend?

well it's weekend actually..

29. What time do you get up in the morning?

depends on what time I go to sleep..

31. Do you eat ranch with your pizza?

Ranch? As in where you put your horses? I guess then its a NO.

32. Last person you IM'ed?

I'm not an IM-user

33. Have you ever been in an ambulance?

No.

34. Do you prefer an ocean or pool?

Pool..

35. What color shirt are you wearing?

Tosca..

36. Do you know how to drive a stick shift?

what's a stick shift?

37. What's bothering you right now?

my college assignments.. x_x

38. Do you hold grudges?

I'm not :)

40. Who's myspace page did you visit last?

I don't have myspace :'''''')

41. Are you a Lost fanatic?

nope. Grey's anatomy YES. :p

43. Earphones or headphones?

Earphones!

44. At this very moment what should you be doing?

Sleep..

45. Do you read novels often?

Used to. But not anymore :(

46. What is the color of your bedroom walls?

Cream-ish

47. Do you shut off the water while you brush your teeth?

I do..

49. Are you mad about anything?

Sometimes..

50. Do you sing obnoxiously in the car?

Yes, like totally! haha

51. Last 2 people to call you?

Unknown number and another unknown number..

52. Have you ever thought you didn't like someone, and then found out that you really liked them?

emmmmm never, so far..

54. How was this weekend?

So-so

55. Do/did you listen to your parents?

I do and I don't.

56. Stupidest thing you ever did with your cell phone?

I don't do stupid thing with it, I do with my friends B-)

57. Is there anyone that doesn't like you because of something you did?

Maybe..

58. Do you think your first love affects the way you go on with life?

hmmmmm.. kind of affects my love-life, only love-life not LIFE.

59. The phone rings. What is your ring tone?

always in silent, actually..

60. Did you go anywhere yesterday?

I did

61. Who was the last person you shared beds with?

Mom and Cancan

62. Favorite drink?

Cold mineral water >.<

63. Does the person you like know that you like them?

my family, my friends, my boyfie, even my crush know it! haha :')

64. Where are you right now?

My bedroom

65. If you HAD to kiss the last person you kissed, would you?

Uhm.

66. Favorite gadget in the kitchen?

not a gadget lover at all..

67. Favorite pie?

Pie is not my thing.

68. How is your hair?

not really nice I think.. :(

69. Where's the last place you walked to?

kitchen..

70. Last time you had a sleepover?

about 3months ago.. after my highschool promnite

71. Latest you stayed up in the past week?

1ish.

72. What are you doing, aside from answering these questions?

listening to music and blogwalkin

73. Have you been in a car accident?

Thank God, nope.

74. What is the last thing you said aloud?

well..it makes me realize that i've been not talk out loud lately x_x

75. Who's the 1st person on your missed calls list?

Mom

76. What did the last text message you received say?

"i've sent email for you"

77. Last time you went to church?

I don't do church-ing

DESCRIBE YOUR:

78.Wallet

Thick. with bills. haha well.. it's black and made from leather.. saying this makes me feel like a murder :s

79.Eyes?

BIG. Chocolate and totally blurrr :')

80.Life?

indescribable, uh? :p

WHAT ARE YOU:

81.Doing this weekend to come?

back to home and visit mommm

82.Wearing?

tosca tshirt and blue shortpants..

83.Wanting?

many things

84.Listening to?

End of the Road - Boyz ii men

85.What do you smell?

nothing..?

86. Do you sleep naked?

nope

87. Do you like seafood?

nope

88. Do you remember your dreams?

I do and i don't

89. Do you consider yourself a study freak?

sometimes

90. Do you speak another language other than English?

Indonesian, a lil bit French, is Javanese count?

91.What did you do last night?

went back to home..

92. What do you hate?

1st thing on my list : rude people who doesn't care about manner

93.Orange or apple juice?

don't really like both..

94.Who were the last people you went out to lunch with?

my uni's pals..

95.Last thing you ate?

beef cornet..

96. People you love?

main family.. my bestfriends.. boyfie..

97. Your hobby?

watch movies and browsing..

98. What's your favorite subject at school?

when I was in school.. english&sociology, in college, philosophy and General Psychology

99. Who's the last person who kissed you?

my boyfie..

100. Why are you answering these questions?

Killing some time..

i'm afraid of 18 out of 69 common fears (repost)

Cross out the things you’re afraid of and put you’re score at the top.

1. the dark
2. staying single forever
3. being a parent
4. giving birth
5. being myself in front of others
6. open spaces
7. closed spaces
8. heights
9. dogs
10. birds
11. fish
12. spiders
13. flowers or other plants
14. being touched
15. fire
16. deep water
17. snakes
18. silk
19. the ocean
20. failure
21. success
22. thunder/lightning
23. frogs/toads
24. my boyfriends/girlfriends dad
25. boyfriends/girlfriends mom  
26. rats
27. jumping from high places
28. snow
29. rain
30. wind
31. crossing hanging bridges
32. death
33. heaven
34. being robbed
35. falling
36. clowns
37. dolls
38. large crowds of people
39. men
40. women
41. having great responsibilities
42. doctors, including dentists
43. tornadoes
44. hurricanes
45. incurable diseases
46. sharks
47. friday the 13th
48. ghosts
49. poverty
50. halloween
51. school
52. trains
53. odd numbers
54. even numbers
55. being alone
56. becoming blind
57. becoming deaf
58. growing up
59. creepy noises in the night
60. bee stings
61. not accomplishing my dreams/goals
62. needles
63. blood
64. dinosaurs
65. the welcome mat
66. high speed
67. throwing up
68. Falling in love
69. super secrets

If you repost this, it’s been requested that you title it “I’m afraid of _ out of 69 common fears”

If you get more than 30, I strongly recommend some counseling.

If you get more than 20, you’re paranoid.

If you get 10-20, you are normal.

If you get 10 or less, you’re fearless.

People who don’t have any are liar

Nice one

A view days ago, I found a really nice post link that tells about the lessons of life, and that's really quite interesting and nice, and I would like to share in here..

So this is it..

Introduction

These are some lessons I wish I had learned much earlier in life.

The Lessons

1. You can’t look for a long term partner and a sexual encounter at the same time. You must look in different places, with different techniques. For example, in a place with loud music, it is impossible for a potential partner to get you know you. Someone just looking for sex does not care. As a general rule, the longer you postpone getting into bed, the longer your partner will hang around afterward.
2. When you are young, you tend to seek the best looking partner. This attractiveness will be gone in a flash. Instead pick someone easy to live with who has no nerve-grating habits.
3. There are three kinds of people:
   1. Those that like you naturally, or who would if they met you.
   2. Those that like you only while you are performing a mating dance with a steady stream of compliments, gifts, entertainments and undivided attention.
   3. Those that will never like you, including ones who had a relationship with you in the past and decided they did not like you after all.
   For the purposes of finding a suitable partner, studiously ignore anyone in category 2 or 3 no matter how attractive.
4. Most of your time you spend wishing for things, sometimes things you might buy, but it could be relationships, health, physical fitness, political changes… But think. In past, every time you achieved one of these things, the pleasure is momentary, sometimes over in a fraction of a second, and rarely lasting more than a week. So to achieve continuous happiness this way requires some major achievement or acquisition every couple of days. This is impossible. If you want a continuously happy life, you must do it by learning to appreciate what is under your nose, here and now. Your desires seductively promise happiness if you but become a slave to them, but they cannot deliver.
5. The life lesson I most wish I had learned early in life is: If your partner dumps you, that is absolute proof they were not the one no matter how attached you feel, no matter how much you believe you could never love another, no matter how great it used to be, no matter if the heartbreak is the worst pain you ever felt.
   P.S. Your partner did not dump you if all they did was have sex with someone else.
6. Play with your food! Do this, not to be virtuous, but out of curiosity. For three days, drop some food from your diet and pay attention to any differences. Do you have more or less energy? Do you sleep better or worse? Do you have more or less diarrhea? Are you more or less constipated? Do you have more or less gas? Do you feel more or less irritable? Foods you might consider for experimentation include: sugar, coffee, meat, eggs, nuts, fresh fruits, orange juice, bread, pasta, corn cereals, wheat, salt, dairy products or anything you eat a large amount of. If you notice a dramatic improvement, that might motivate you to consider a permanent change in your diet putting the troublesome foods on the back burner. Similarly, try adding a new food to your diet, or increasing the amount you eat, for three days to see what happens. You might consider salads, fresh fruit, fresh vegetables, fish, vitamin supplements, protein supplements or any of the foods I mentioned earlier to try deleting. You might be surprised to discover that candy bar you grab to give you energy has the exact opposite effect. No matter what happens, whether you feel better, you feel worse or nothing at all happens, this is still useful information you can use in shaping your future diet. Something very simple might just hugely improve your life. If you do discover something significant, you will kick yourself for not doing this sooner.
7. You have heard it a thousand times in a hundred different ways. The past cannot be changed. The past is over. The past is frozen in liquid plastic; not a molecule can move. Yet still you say to yourself what my mother called the saddest words in the English language, “if only”. To say “If only I had taken time to…” is as silly as saying “If only I had a flying pig, I could go on the Tonight Show.” You cannot change the past, though you can change your attitude to it using techniques like EMDR. You cannot change the past, though you can learn from it and ensure you don’t repeat the same mistakes in future. If ever you catch yourself in regret, immediately reframe that to “I must make sure I never make that mistake again” and let it go.
8. If someone does not like you, even if they once did, give up. Even if you succeed in temporarily getting them to like you, it will take escalating work to maintain the relationship. Seek your partners among those who naturally like you. The rest might as well be invisible vis a vis potential partners. Chasing after people who have rejected you is as silly as going to the movies and waiting for some movie star to become your partner. On the other hand, don’t presume people won’t like you just because they are extraordinarily wonderful or beautiful. Pay attention to the objective clues as to how well they like you, not to how well you calculate they should like you based on your relative pecking order status. Hollywood convention is that if the girl rejects the guy in the first reel, guaranteed they will be married in the last. Real life does not work that way. Movies are just wishful fantasies. If it appears no one likes you, find out why. Even a small improvement may help. Are you too clingy?, are you always thinking about what the relationship can do for you, never for your partner?, are you overweight?, do you have an unpleasant body or mouth odour?, do you lack tact? You can’t change other people, but you can change yourself.
9. Even if all your problems were caused 100% by your parents it is pointless to wring your hands about the terrible hand life dealt you. Nearly everyone heals their issues with their parents. It is just a matter of how soon you get on with it.
10. Every moment, you are consciously or unconsciously deciding what to do next. You have some unwritten rules for deciding your priorities. You may usually do whatever makes the most money, which will be the most fun, which will be the easiest, which will give you the biggest rush, which will make you healthiest, most enlightened, most well liked, most respected, the most secure, the most laid, the most powerful, the most famous, the most feared, the best looking, the most knowledgeable etc. If you change the rules even slightly, you will live a completely different life. Try asking different questions. See what happens when you ask “What will be most useful to the universe?”. Your priority rules are the biggest lever you have in determining your fate. Of course the other big controlling priority is what you choose to spend your time thinking about.
11. Do it now! Nearly all the great mathematicians and physicists did their best work in their twenties. If you have grand dreams, realise them now. You may well not have the energy later. Time seems to stretch endlessly ahead of you, but your life is over in an eyeblink.
12. Don’t be attached to the results of your action. Constant checking to see if your work has born fruit just wastes time and causes discouragement. Some liken it to digging up a seed you have planted each day to see how it is doing. Get on with something else. Never underestimate the power of the futile gesture.
13. Understating your case is more persuasive than overstating it. You supply the facts. Let others supply the emotion. If you supply the emotion, others will take no action, believing you must have already handled the problem.
14. When you can’t get what you want, one alternative to trying harder to get it, is to talk yourself out of wanting it so badly, at least not getting yourself upset over it. Similarly, when people do obnoxious things, you are not obligated to get upset. For exactly how to avoid getting upset, see Living Love.
15. You can’t tell if someone is lying just by how sincere they sound. Habitual liars are those who have polished lying to a high art. You would never suspect them based on their look or demeanor. However, I have noticed liars tend to repeat the same old talking points, and take a little too long to answer simple questions. They have to compose the answers first and think about if they are falling into a consistency trap.
16. The years pass faster and faster as you get older. By the time you reach puberty, your life is half over in psychological time. Don’t procrastinate the truly important things.
17. If it sounds to good to be true, it nearly always is. Don’t waste time looking for zero-effort ways to do things. You just set yourself up to be conned. Find out what methods the people who actually succeeded have used.
18. Think globally; act locally. Saving the world is a huge job. Yours is just a small part. However, it is a necessary part.
19. The things you worry most about almost never happen. If you don’t believe me, start tracking them.

20. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.
    ~ Rita Mae Brown (born: 1944-11-28 age: 67) in Sudden Death often misattributed to Benjamin Franklin.
    

    Persistence is great, but you must persist with something that works.

21. Other people do things that annoy you, not to annoy you, but in the usually-vain hope that doing so will make them feel better.
22. Despite the protestations of absolute Truth, there is a tremendous amount of lying surrounding religion and spirituality.
23. At many times in your life it will seem as if you have absolutely no energy or resources. But even then you can find something you can do that will marginally improve your lot or keep it from getting even worse than it would have naturally.
24. If you are not making any progress on your big dreams, the very bigness of the dreams may be paralysing you. Think instead, "What could I do today that would marginally improve my lot." Focus not so much on where you want to go, but where you could go immediately from here.
25. When you are coming in for a landing in a plane and your ears won’t pop and you have a splitting headache, just plug your nose and blow gently.
26. When you have dry congested nose, just snort up a bit of water to clean it out.
27. Boiling water is a remarkable cleanser for kitchen or bathroom. It dissolves dried on muck, kills germs, deodorises, leaving no residue or perfume or caustic chemical odour.
28. The human body is only designed to last for forty years in the wild. You must take extraordinary care of it over your whole life if you want it to last you in comfort the eighty or ninety we humans live now. Don’t buy into the religious notion it is wicked to look after your body.
29. While chasing after riches leads to an empty life, chasing after poverty also leads to misery. Neither extreme is as pleasant as the fairy tales make it out to be.
30. Winning the heart of someone much more physically attractive than you can lead to misery by several routes.
    • Others will compete to woo them away.
    • You may become too besotted, and allow yourself to become psychologically enslaved.
    • Chances are they are flawed in character or some other way otherwise you would not have been able to win them. You may find you have got yourself quite a temperamental handful.
    • You can start feeling unworthy.
    You are better off finding someone more evenly matched in beauty who enjoys the same activities you do.

Referensi: http://mindprod.com/deepthoughts/wise.html

Well, there are some things that I would like to share here, mulai dari saya yang akhirnya mengakhiri hari-hari yang dihabiskan dengan penuh-ke-tidak-manfaat-an 5 bulan terakhir ini sejak selesai UN. Masa-masa pengangguran yang serba hedon dan penuh kemalasan telah saya putuskan untuk cukup berakhir disini saja. Sekarang, saatnya dunia perkuliahan dimulai. Dari masa-masa ospek kemarin, segala perjalanan setiap hari berangkat pukul 03.30 dari Tangerang menuju tempat ospek, segala preparations atributnya, kelelahannya, terrifiednya, seneng-senengnya, pengalamannya, telah saya lalui. Bagaimana perkenalan dengan dunia kampus, kakak-kakak senior, dan tentunya teman-teman baru :)

Ohya, dan juga bagaimana kini saya telah tinggal sendiri, going to the most tough city in this country, leaving home, leaving the facilities, leaving the town, but all of the hardest is, leaving my mom all alone :( I always remember the moment when my mom cried a lot, really hard when she left my new place. Eventho it's just about Tangerang to Halimun, it's hard enough for us, it's really fine for me to live alone, but it's so hard to leave mom who said that she wouldn't survive without me.. but it's what we have to through.. it's a part of life journey. It's really fine to be sad for a while, to let out all of ur feelings, but always remember when you have to rise :) we just hope that it's all worth it for my education :)

And for all of my friends, and all of people whose just entered the university life just like me, let's pray for the best to ourselves :D agar lekas bisa beradaptasi, merasa nyaman as soon as possible dan bisa menjalani perkuliahan dengan lancar dalam segi apapun itu.

Goodluck, folks! <3

From tears to thought

these tears just won't stop.. where I actually know it's better to keep my chin up and pretend to be tough instead of crying, I understand that life goes on and this is just the part of the process of life.. probably I just need to have my reaction, for being left, for the first time, and it's by my dearest friend ever, the best one..

Now, in this bed with my pillow which so wet and full of my tears.. i'm wondering about why should people come and go just to teach us to be tougher, and yet there are so many ways to leave people, to know some people and have some memories with 'em but in the end, God do us apart..

Cause well, finally I know what it feels like to be left by someone.. and it's so damn awful :')

But back to the law of nature, it's a common thing that people come and go in your life..

you just need to be strong, to face the fate with your tough heart,

to prove to your ownself that you are great enough to deal with the life God has gave to you..

Pray for the best for the good people even they left you..

and take some lesson from the people who come to your life even they are not that good..

be strong.

Thursday, 1:53 am

Write it with a thoughtful brain and full tears on the face after about 4hours from airport to had a goodbye-saying and last hug with my best friend of life who are going to another continent and start to live there..

have a safe flight, Med

see you when I see you :)

-Pishella Suryoputri-

Write it right 4days before she leaves..

Tonight i'm going to make a post, quite a short story, kind of friendship journey.. and it's dedicated to my friend, the best one, who will go so far away from this country, who will cross the sea even the ocean, not just going to another island but continent.

She is Nurul Medina, the kindest person ever lived, the one who has a very pretty face and heart. The one who will going to continue her life and catch her dream by living in Aussie and leave Indonesia for years..

My bestfriend for life..

I've known her since about 3 years a go, saat kita masuk di SMA yang sama, SMA Negeri 47 Jakarta Selatan, kami terdaftar pada kelas yang sama X6, awalnya tentu kami belum saling mengenal jauh satu sama lain, tapi ternyata tidak butuh banyak waktu bagi kami untuk saling merasa cocok satu sama lain, diantara sekian banyak teman sekelas lainnya, Tuhan 'memperkenalkanku' padanya, sosok yang ternyata kedepannya sungguh sangat berarti dalam kehidupanku. Dengan segala kecocokan, tawa, canda, obrolan, permainan, kami menjadi teman dekat, tidak lupa juga dengan Fivo, Nadiah, and the guys: Gio Rezky Hanif Fahmi Risyad Neo Novian Rama dll :-D masa-masa kelas 10 yang harus dilalui dengan berbagai adaptasi yang tak mudah, bagaimana kami melalui proses peralihan, keluar dari segala labilitas pada usia itu, segala masalah baik dalam aspek apapun, semua kita lalui dan kami share bersama. Ntah bagaimana aku melalui masa-masa itu tanpa mengenalnya, Medina, yang akhirnya menjadi sahabat baruku di SMA.

We really had so many unforgettable moment, I can't even count how many times we've been share laugh together, everything seems so straight, so pleasant, so funny! :'D

 since the first time I met her,

dari jaman-jaman belum terlalu deket, jaman-jaman gaya foto kita masih 'imut' banget, gimana kita selalu ketawa-ketawa karna jokes ga jelas yg kita buat, gimana kita melewati banyak ups and downs saat itu bareng-bareng, labil bareng-bareng, gila bareng-bareng, nangis pun bareng-bareng, dan masih banyak lagi :')

Ngga bakal pernah lupain seru-serunya kita awal-awal di x6, sering main ke rumah Risyad, terus waktu ngerayain hari batik pertama, terus pas kerumahku rame-rame juga sama Fivo&Nadi yang niatnya mau belajar tapi jadi foto-foto pake webcam, terus waktu kita cabut olahraga ke taman dan ngakak banget gara-gara pak Edi dan panjat tebing sekolah yang kita kira gentong air, gimana kita suka beli lekker sampai foto sama abangnya yang kecil, jaman-jaman sering main "sok lu", jaman-jaman nginep-nginepan terus foto-foto sok badai, apalagi yang dirumah Nadi kita make-up an konyol! hahaha dan pulangnya kita ke bandara sama-sama malem-malem sampai pulangnya ketiduran di mobilmu gara-gara keasyikan liat langit dr atap mobil yang dibuka, jaman-jaman main sama f4 terus, jaman-jaman kalau pulang sekolah masih sering naik metromini sama-sama. ngga cuma ada disaat seneng aja, tapi saat-saat dimana kita suka galau karna masalah cowok pun saling menguatkan, dan masih banyak lagi yang ngga bakal bisa di ceritain satu-satu, all I can say is thankyou for made my life so great when we were at 10th grade by having each other as a very good friends :') thanks for accepted me as your bestfriend with your heart since the first time. what a precious moment!

Lanjut ke kelas 11, sayangnya yah kita pisah kelas :'o tapi hal tersebut ngga membuat kita jadi jauh, and i'm so grateful! :D bahkan kita masih sangat dekat, di kelas 11 kita lebih disibukkan dengan kegiatan cheers, segala-galanya kita lewatin bareng sama temen-temen Dazzle juga, I always remember saat-saat aku cedera, Memed yang selalu paling khawatir dan care, Memed yang ngolesin counterpain waktu aku terkilir, Memed yg nemenin lari ke kamar mandi waktu aku mau muntah/mimisan kena cedera, jaman-jaman kita bikin lagu-lagu gila di hall kalo lagi break, jaman Memed mulai bawa motor dan dengan jegernya kita ke Senayan bareng smp minjem helm di rumah Atikah dulu :') jaman-jaman kita jadi tempat satu sama lain buat ngeluhin cheers, tapi disisi lain juga saling menyemangati dan berbagi banyak cerita. ohya, kelas 11 juga dimana kita mulai bikin keluarga-keluargaan ya! dimana Memed-Pandu jadi orangtuanya, dan ada anak-anak juga, Bambi, Opip, Oon, Obi, yang tadinya bahkan ada tante Hilda om Edoy sepupu Shela dan masih banyak lagi yang kita sampe suka dibilang sinting sama Julie dan Anis! hahahaha :") kelas 11 juga jaman-jamannya aku melewati lovelife yang berat sekali..yang dimana cuma bisa curhat sama Memed and so do you to me, bagaimana ada hal-hal yang ngga bisa kita ceritakan ke orang lain, bagaimana kita saling menguatkan, tempat curhat terbaik!

Begitu juga sampai naik ke kelas 12 pun, kita tetap selalu keep in touch as a good friend walaupun mulai nggak sesering dulu main barengnya, but we never have a fight, we respect each other when we're in kind of busy with our own activities, but when we meet, we still into each other, we share everything and laugh as much as we were young :p or sometimes even the tears..we always also cry inside when we see one of us cry or deeply sad.

"We've shared so much laughter, so many tears. We're a spiritual bond that grows stronger each year. We're not sisters by birth, but we knew from the start, something put us together to be sisters by heart."

3 tahun di SMA, Memed selalu ada, menjadi salah satu sahabat terbaik yang pernah aku punya, we grow up together these past 3 years, you see how I changes, and I see how you changes. but there's one thing that would never ever change, our friendship :') even sampai kelulusanpun. yang dimana setelah ini it means you and I will be apart because we have to reach our own dreams with our own way :')

 (our graduation day)

And now, we have to separated by our life's fate, we're growing up and we have to continue our precious life God has gave to us, first, we choose the different speciality, enter the different college/univ, then we go to our own way, but all I know is someday when we meet again, kita sudah sama-sama menjadi diri yang sukses dan menjalani hidup yang kita impikan bersama cita-cita kita lainnya :'D aku jadi guru tk dan psikolog, kamu jadi chef handal dan manajer wanita yang hebat. Dimana kita akan terlihat berbeda dari luarnya nanti, tapi di hati semoga akan selalu tetap seperti bagaimana kita pertama mengenal, pribadi perempuan yang berhati baik dimata satu sama lain dengan segala kegilaannya yang menyenangkan. Segala tawa, cerita dan caring yang akan terus kita share nantinya saat kita bertemu lagi :'D 

Over all, here's my message for you, Nurul Medina aka Memed.

My bestfriend, my second mom, my sister, my share-mate and everythinggg..

"baik-baik ya Med disana! :') selalu jaga diri dari hal-hal yang membahayakan, selalu berhati-hati dalam berkeputusaaan, jangan takut, be a tough woman in there..  disaat kamu bingung, disaat kamu resah, jangan pernah membuat keputusan gegabah, remember that Allah will always be with you wherever you go. Kalo kangen sama Jakarta dan Indonesia, just remind urself that it can be a motivation for you untuk cepat-cepat menyelesaikan kuliah dengan baik dan kembali kesini, jangan pernah takut orang-orang akan lupa sama kamu, semua yang disini akan selalu kangen juga sama kamu, Med! :) I can't wait to see you back someday as a smart intelligent woman who can inspire people by your life story. Whenever you feel alone, always remember that you'll have plenty of new friends there, dari berbagai belahan dunia, you'll be a person who has an extraordinary experience which can make you be a powerful woman than anyone later.. Don't cry easily, take a deep breath when you know you are about to cry than keep your chin up, every obstacle will make your heart tougher, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger! :) jangan pernah putus asa walaupun seberat apa nanti perjalanan hidup kamu disana, selalu ingat bahwa kita tidak mungkin hidup tanpa masalah, tapi Allah ngga bakal ngasih cobaan yang melebihi batas kemampuan kita :)

I will always love you my bestfriend of life.. jangan lupa janji kita untuk ketemu lagi nantinya :'D you have no idea how i'm gonna miss you damn muchhh! skype or tweet me oftenly babe! :') have a great journey ahead!"

"A friend gives hope when life is low, a friend is a place when you have nowhere to go, a friend is honest, a friend is true. A friend is precious. A friend is you."

 

"True friends are the ones who never leave your heart, even if they leave your life for a while. Even after years apart, you pick up with them right where you left off, and even if they die, they're never dead in your heart."

 Thanks for being my friend, thanks to accompany me these past three years, thanks to let me know you better until that deep, thanks for all the things we've shared, thanks for always listen to my story, thanks for all the laughs, the jokes, the memories and all of the stuff between us which I will never ever forget, dan ngga lupa juga, thanks for gave me this board as your last gift for me before you go..

it's more than a priceless :')

well,

Take care, take care, take care..

"And so we talked all night about the rest of our lives
Where we're gonna be when we turn 25
I keep thinking times will never change
Keep on thinking things will always be the same
But when we leave this year we won't be coming back
No more hanging out cause we're on a different track
And if you got something that you need to say
You better say it right now cause you don't have another day
Cause we're moving on and we can't slow down

 As we go on, we remember..
All the times we had together..
And as our lives change
Come whatever..
We will still be..
Friends Forever"

Vitamin C - Graduation (friends forever)

So that's all I can say..

I love you, Nurul Medina :)

See you when I see you..

Best Regards,

your bestfie,

-Pishella Suryoputri-

(who can't imagine how much tears that would fall when you're leaving :'D)