"The only thing that fills my mind is you, stupidly, it seems like my world is full of you, and everything is just about you."
Is that a common thing that happens when people are in love? Is that what makes love looks beauty?
If it's true.. then maybe I prefer not to be in love, again..
"She was a smart girl till she fell in love."
When the logic suddenly tells, "Don't you realize where are you now?", "Don't you realize how it makes you looks so dumb?", "Are you really throwing yourself away just because of what you feel on one person?"
When our needs come second, when we sacrifice our heart, when we let our dignity falls down..
When we don't even know who we are. We feel lost, we feel like we don't stand on our own feet. We become so needy.
Cause what I know is.. Love doesn't make people weaker.
But it does, to some people who can't control themselves.
I'm not an expert on love,
For the first 18th years in my life, guys come and go.. even I did learn a lot, but there's only ONE person who can make me sure that I love him, the one that I couldn't have. Until it got me thinking for years, that I couldn't love anyone else.
Turns out, I can.. I do.. I am.. right now. But then again, with someone I couldn't have. So he said.
Inevitably, i'm starting to compare them.. with the first one, all I can feel is just pureness.. the story maybe stupid, yet everything is clear as crystal. And there's no regret..
And with whom i'm facing right now, so many ups and downs that happen because of things and reasons I never knew but he did. Which makes me can be the happiest person in the world for one time but the next second, tears come out.
Things maybe uneasy with him.. but there's always one reason that makes me feel like I have to stay, I should keep going. Or maybe.. that's just a concept that I made just because I don't want to lose him..
What I always believe is, the rightest person for us people is that one who can see a different side in ourselves that can't be seen by someone else, and he sure did..
That sacred bond between us exists, there is feeling, sometimes there's deep happiness.. and so does sadness and obscurities. They say love isn't always about happiness.. and they also say truelove won't ever let you down.
Two contrary statements, just like everything between and around our stories that always has two poles, just like what's happening in myself.. where right now there are two sides of me which are fighting, logic and heart.. who's going to be the winner? I don't know yet.. but it does torture..
If I give up and say we should let each other go.. would you heed it?
If I stay, how's it gonna end?
It's sad when i'm start to thinking, is this how love works?
Or it's just us? Cause love isn't complicated, but we are..........
In the end.. my question is,
if you really the one, are you worth fighting for?
or I really have to fight first to know that you are the one or not.......... time will tell.
When you decide to choose one person over billions people in this world, it means you are ready to take anything that comes from that one, the whole package. Whether you like it or not, that's the choice of your heart and you have to appreciate your heart's choice without any regret.. Cause love is the most beautiful--purest thing in this world, and heart becomes its messenger to tell everything..........
Therefore.. Believe in love.. No matter how the things around are going. :)
-Pishella Suryoputri-
